Honorable Mentions: Sour Skittles, Tropical Starburst
10) Jolly Ranchers
Such a classic candy, I always made the mistake of bringing a whole bag to school. There was always that one kid who asked for one and somehow the whole class would find out in seconds. Jolly Ranchers make for the perfect cough drop. The Green Apple flavor is easily the best. If you don't think so, fuck yourself.
9) Wild Berry Skittles
Everyone loves the Original Skittles but those are as basic as they come. The Sour are okay but after a few your tongue is ruined for days. Therefore, the Wild Berry Skittles are the best of the Skittle family.
8) Nerds Rope
Such an underrated candy, the only place I know that still sells these is Grayslake North's concession stand. The combination of nerds and some random gooey substance makes this candy delicious as shit. My only complaint is how messy they can get but hey, fuck it.
7) Wild Berry Life Saver Gummies
Everyone gives me shit for liking these but they are truly amazing. The flavors are remarkable and they're the perfect amount of chewy. If you like berry flavors, this is definitely the candy for you.
6) Swedish Fish
Another timeless candy, Swedish fish is beloved by most 50-year olds. I try not to mess around with the multi-colored ones, the normal red ones are good enough for me. You'll never see me turn down a Swedish Fish.
5) Airheads
This candy always provides you with the biggest bang for your bank at local sporting events. They are usually 25 cents each and with so many good flavors, always the best choice at concession stands. Most people like the cherry ones but they're wrong. The watermelon are simply the best.
4) SweeTarts
Don't think I misspelled SweeTarts because that is actually how its spelled. It's basically hardened Pixy Stix so what's not to like? It's pure sugar with great flavors. Not going to lie though, those SweeTart hearts they give out on Valentine's Day have to be the worst candy ever made. However, normal SweeTarts are the shit.
3) Berry Blast Mike and Ike
Another candy where the general population likes the original type more but once again, they're sadly mistaken. The blue box is the best, and every flavor is good.
2) Mike and Ike Zours
I used to eat 3-5 bags of Zours for lunch in high school everyday. It's actually a miracle that I don't have diabetes. The yellow ones are trash but every other color is superb. This candy never gets old and I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
1) Sour Patch Watermelon
Easily the BEST candy in the history of history. I buy this candy by the bulk and eat it before every workout. I will never get tired of Sour Patch Watermelon. Such a classic.
Honorable Mentions: Sandra Bullock, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Alba
10) Anne Hathaway
My love for her began in the Princess Diaries where she was transferred from an ugly hag into one sexy Genovian princess. I'm not a huge fan of her short hair but she is sneaky sexy and extremely underrated in my opinion.
9) Taylor Swift
A lot of people hate her and I definitely understand it. She can be annoying as hell but I still find her attractive. No matter how much I try to hate her and her music, I just can't. Old Taylor is obviously better than new Taylor but I'd take the latter any day of the week.
8) Emma Stone
She just recently became a crush of mine but she is damn sexy. Oddly enough though, she scares me at the same time. No matter what color her hair is or at what length, she is captivating and will always have a place in my heart.
7) Jennifer Aniston
I don't care that she is twice my age, Jennifer Aniston is the definition of MILF. She's timeless and even at the ripe age of 47 is still hot as can be. As crazy as it sounds, I think she looks better now than she did back in the day.
6) Olivia Wilde
I was introduced to her when she was Dr. Remy Hadley in House and I've been in love ever since. Her eyes are beautiful and she's just sexy in general. It's a shame that she's with Jason Sudeikis because she really belongs with me.
5) Ariana Grande
I honesty liked her before she blew up. I've liked her since her days on Victorious. I was strangely attracted to her irritating voice and stupidity on the show and I'm also in love with her singing voice for some reason. She's cute as shit.
4) Zooey Deschanel
Combine her gorgeous blue eyes, cute face, and goofy personality, Zooey is the girl of my dreams. She is hilarious in New Girl and for being almost 40, looks amazing. Fun fact, her sister is the girl from Bones.
3) Jennifer Lawrence
She has to be the most naturally beautiful girl on my list and I really like her personality. She's had my heart since the Hunger Games first came out and Silver Linings Playbook really sealed the deal for me. Something about her is so sexy to me.
2) Victoria Justice
This girl is the definition of dime piece. Most people know her from her show Victorious but I've had a crush on her since her days on Zoey 101. Victoria is so pretty and has an amazing body. She's also a decent singer and I'd do pretty much anything to date her.
1) Selena Gomez
No surprise here. I've been in complete love with Selena since 2007 when Wizards of Waverly Place first debuted. She's a pretty average singer and actress but I don't give a fuck. She is sexy, hot, beautiful and cute...all at the same time. I feel bad for Justin Bieber because it's only a matter of time before she's mine.
Honorable Mentions: Kobe Bryant, Metta World Peace, Tony Allen, Mike Miller
10) Danny Green SA SG
My love for Danny Green pretty much began when 2K14 came out. I'm a big fan of shooters and this boy can shoot. He's a team player and has won a NCAA championship and a NBA title. He also has the record for the most 3's made in a Finals series.
9) J.J. Redick LAC SG
I have a soft spot for white Duke players, especially ones that have no actual basketball ability besides shooting. He's a terrible defender but tries sometimes. He's a great shooter and launches up shots whenever he feels like it.
8) Kyle Korver Atl SG
Another classic white shooter, my love for him began when he played for the Bulls. Another horrible defender, this pretty boy holds the NBA record for highest 3-point percentage in one season (53.6%). It's hilarious to watch him try to defend but I love myself some Kyle Korver.
7) Jimmy Butler Chi SG
What makes me love Butler so much is the way he defends. He isn't afraid to defend anyone and gives it his all every night. I love scrappy defenders and he also plays for my favorite team. I used to like him more but in my opinion he has lost some of his defending ability since he's become a scorer as well. I still love the guy and I'm glad he's a Bull.
6) Kemba Walker Cha PG
Walker is one of my favorite players to ever play in college and is as clutch as they come. He's fun to watch and is a pretty good defender. He also plays for one of my favorite teams so Kemba is an easy choice for this list.
5) Chandler Parsons Dal SF
He's white. He shoots. He's pretty. He went to Florida. I love Chandler Parsons. He was drafted in the second round by the Rockets and has really improved over his career. While injuries have haunted him in Dallas, he's one of my favorite players to watch.
4) Chris "Birdman" Andersen Mem C
Anyone with a nickname like Birdman that is covered in tattoos, combined with a love for drugs will end up on this list. He's a scrappy defender/rebounder who really has no offensive ability besides dunking the ball. I love myself a bad boy and Chris certainty fits that mold.
3) Matthew Dellavedova Cle PG
I'm not usually a fan of foreign players but this Aussie makes the list at the number 3 spot. He's that annoying player that everyone hates, even his own teammates. Dellavedova is concerned a dirty player but I love it. When you're an non-athletic, undersized white boy, you need to find a way to gain an edge. I hate that he plays for the Cavs but I will always root for him.
2) Bismack Biyombo Tor C
This 6'9 freak from the Congo is easily one of my favorite players. To be honest, he's not very good and can only dunk the ball and rebound. He is decently young though so he has time to grow. He's a freak athlete and has a huge wing span. He tries really hard so that's why I like him. Plus, his name is fun to say.
1) Kyle Lowry Tor PG
Anyone who knows me is well aware of my obsession of Kyle Lowry. He's a great defender, decent passer and an improved scorer. He's small for the NBA and has to fight for everything. He struggled in the beginning of his career but eventually made an All-Star game this season. I absolutely love Lowry and he will always be my favorite player.
10) David
He makes great food and has an awesome taste of music. We used to close together on Monday nights and he was the shit. He always gave me free food, and we always had time closing. We always danced around to the Backstreet Boys (which was weird because I've never met a 35 year old Mexican who likes white boy bands) and talked shit about other workers. What a great guy.
9) Lynn
She's probably the only girl I know that actually knows sports and always backs her teams. Even if she's a nasty Michigan Wolverines fan, she knows her shit and I respect it. She's a good server and actually cares about her customers. But at the same time, fuck with her and you'll regret it.
8) Corinne
This lovable 80-year old woman is what keeps Buffalo Wild Wings going. She's also the only human I know who shows up to Bdubs ready to work with a smile on her face every single day. She's the nicest old lady I've ever met and I think it's awesome she shows up drunk to every shift! I don't blame her though, some people treat her like shit and I don't know why. She's hands down the best busser ever and a damn good silverware roller.
7) Noe
My favorite cook at buffalo, this lovable Spanish-speaking goof-ball is always hooking me up with extra food. He also takes time to ask me about my life which is awesome. Most of my co-workers think I hate him because I am in love with his wife (also works at Bdubs) but that's simply not true! You have to respect a guy who is a 4 at best that is married to a hard 10.
6) Deon Swift
He is without a doubt my favorite black person that works at Buffalo, granted he's the only black person to work at Buffalo. He's a great person to talk to especially when talking shit about co-workers or discussing the Walking Dead. His love for Michael Jackson has rubbed off on me and currently know every word to 6 MJ songs. We hold down Wednesday mornings and I wouldn't have it any other way.
5) Maddy/Madelyn
There's always that one girl that was born 4 years too late, and she's the one for me. While I'll always be the creepy older dude with a secret crush on an 18 year old girl, it's justified in this situation. She's cute as shit and is always done to steal me free ice cream. In 5 years, holla at me <3
4) Wilma
Some people don't like her because she's loud and she says mean things but that is the reason I like her. She tells it how it is. If you're being a shitty worker, she will let your bitch ass know! Not only is she decent behind the bar, she's a wizard with a thread and needle. During my 3 plus years at Buffalo I've had the same pair of work pants thanks to her. She's always there to sew my pants and for that I love her.
3) Brenda from the kitchen
Most of the people that work at the Round Lake Buffalo Wild Wings just see her as a typical Hispanic kitchen slave but she's way more than that! She is the goddess of my dreams and will always be the one that got away. She may be married (to Noe) and she may have 3-6 kids but one day we will be together. Love always finds a way! Stay beautiful Brenda!
2) Alec Mora
I'm pretty positive that we hated each other for the first 3 months I worked at Buffalo but we've grown to be pretty great friends. She has basically been dating Maltby for the past 3 years so naturally I'm the one she complains about him to (lucky me). Jokes aside, she's always there for me and I'm glad we're close friends.
1) Jacoby Maltballs
No surprise here that my best friend for over 8 years would be my favorite person to work with. Everyone at work loves us and why wouldn't they? The managers actually don't allow us to work together because we're "too big of a distraction to not only the guests, but to our co-workers as well." Can't blame them though, we make a sexy pair.
